navynucgirl

 Well I am killing time before I have to leave for drill today and I have a confession to make. I hurt. I overdid it yesterday with drill and so ended up in the ER to get a shot of some narcotic based pain medication and have my prescription upped to Periset. I have to go back to work today but I think I am just going to ask Lt. Young if I can come home after very little time. I wanted to be there yesterday because I knew it was going to be an integral setup meeting but today is just going to be paperwork and reading about EOC/ROC's. I am very interested in this new unit I have ended up in and hope that the people in it continue to be as motivated as they are right now. Its looking like I could be coming stateside middle of January, of course its four days in Mineasota, so I don't think I will be seeing anyone. We have a conference to go to that should be critical to understanding the role we could be playing.  I know that is criptic but its military stuff.

My surgery went really well, went alittle long, just over 5 hours instead of the 3 it was supposed but I woke up and the first question I asked was when were they going to start. Josh is still getting a kick out of that one. I have an external splint that is more annoying than much right now, it is beginning to think about falling off because my swelling is going down so much. I have two internal splints that are stitched into my nose and not going anywhere until Wednesday when Dr. Laing takes them out. My wisdom teeth removal has caused me the most pain and I will be glad when that heals. I have two stunningly yellowish green purple black eyes now but most of the obvious swelling is very reduced. The bones at the top of my nose were broken to get rid of the asymmetry and the bump I had. The doctor had to break my septum to get it off the left wall of my nose. He couldn't even get an instrument into between them to see what was going on. So I had totally no airway on my left side at all. Thus, I am more sore and more bruised on my left side. My left eye is still leaking, the tear duct has been pissed off since surgery but that is starting to go down as well.

There is so much more I could write but I do want to close with this. Josh has been pretty damn amazing through all of this. He has had some moments of annoyance but who wouldn't at this point. I am so lucky that I had him here to take care of me like this. 

Ok gotta go to work!
  

Current Mood: sore

Josh was back in the ER last night for the start of the same thing that put him there last time. It wasn't nearly as bad as last time, he never 'froze' just the overall weakness happened again with the dizziness. Of course, the ER looked at me like I was crazy when the ambulance brought him in but then the docs looked at him and were like... huh. He was very weak and has hyperreflexitivity in his legs. His pulse never dropped below 50 and his bloodox stayed up where it is supposed to be so it wasn't a terrible trip. Of course, I am very glad it wasn't a big thing, though I felt alittle silly flipping out on everyone. 

I am having surgery next month. A repeat of the last surgery I had, a sceptp Rhinoplasty. Though this time I am letting the doc break my nose. I am tired of not being able to breathe. Bottom line. The new nose is simply the bonus of the deal. I really really really like my doctor so I am confident about the surgery.

I am trying to get a bunch of schoolwork done so I am at a natural place to break over the time I have my surgery. That means I get to take the PRAXIS I on Monday and then I have two finals next Thursday. Ick. I really need to try to study the set theory and symbolic logic that is going to be on my math final. I love math, don't get me wrong, but being a math major is soooooo much work sometimes. Hehe I love it! The other test is for my foundations of teaching. Passing that will allow me to get into the high school next term and do my preclinical experiences. Once I get those done, I will be ready to student teach. I have two more sets of math classes and tests and then I have to take the PRAXIS II in math. Joy. I have to pass that before I can student teach too. So I will have a busy couple of months followed by the summer when I do nothing. I am going to have to get a job or something thats for sure.

Ok much love to everyone we are off to see if my Guitar Heroes III has gotten here yet! (I am addicted...) and then I will return to slave away at my school work. I have to create a rubric, analyze a classroom setting, discuss how teacher expectations impact student's performance, write a research paper on how Mormons and Goths compare and contrast, identify biases in some test questions... oh there is so much to do and so very little time!!!

Current Mood: busy

 Prayers now for a different thing. Stupid workplace people stirring up stuff. Hopefully it is already blown over and the effects will be minimal but it was still stress that was not needed.

I am sick. I hate being sick. I am tired of being sick. I want to feel better. There. That rant is done.

OH but don't I love my man, because I was feeling sick, yesterday he had 12 roses delivered to the house for me! They are the prettiest red with pink stripes almost more like red and pink mottled almost tie die. It is so hard to describe them but they are so beautiful. He wanted me to feel better and since I had a migrane and was laying on the couch with everylight off in the house except the dryer light (which is brighter than I had imagined it would be) and they were delivered and I sat in the almost dark and just smelled them... and I felt so much better. He has been really funny while I have been feeling crummy, he tries so hard to help me feel better but then he'll forget that I am not feeling well and wander away. Then he yells at me when I get up to get a drink. 

School is going very well. Thankfully I got very ahead this last weekend so I could take two days off and not feel too guilty about it. I turned in another task today so I am feeling good about it again. I got a paper back that I wrote on Social Emotional Learning, which is actually a very interesting take on a change in the education process that I will be incorporating into my philosophy of teaching statement.The grader raved over my paper. He said 'This is an exemplary piece of academic work. The author's voice is ever-present weaving through the valid sources." Let me tell you, I struggle with my work sometimes, the online setting makes it difficult to feel like I am really in school. I worked really hard on that paper and really took alot away from the research I did for it and to get it back with such a glowing response really really makes me feel good about my self in academics right now. I know it may seem silly to those of you in traditional college, but it means something.

Ok its late, I really need to try to go to bed. I can hear Josh snoring from here so I am going to have an interesting time of it.

Love to everyone!!!

Thank you for all the thoughts and prayers. I am sorry I have dropped off the face of the earth as far as calling people are concerned, but its all I can do to get my schoolwork done and have enough energy to cross stitch for half an hour at night. Josh is doing much better, he started a new medication that might be the one that causes a diagnosis to be possible, no word yet on that officially. Paperwork is in for him to be seen in San Diego at  Balboa by the neurologists there. We are still waiting to hear back from them about when they can see him and then the paperwork has to be done to get him, and hopefully, me there. 

I am going to a therapist myself, the docs gave me some Ambien, and I am fighting some depression stuff. It sucks to not really be able to focus on anything as I work to get through 5 years of school work in 18 months. I am well into my school stuff with 18 units already done this term. I am no where near done as I have another 5 classes in foundations of teaching and 11 and a half in math. I hope to have it all done by the end of January so I can do my in classroom observations in the spring term and be ready to student teach in the fall. It's a hell of a lot to take on, but I really need to be ready to become the sole supporter of our family if I need to.

We really do still need the prayers, we are both so tired and drained. Josh is still having some possibily unrelated but related medical stuff, he's going back to the doctor monday week. I am alot more worried than he is about it of course.

We have gotten off base a little bit in our time here. Just last weekend, we went to the 100 yen store and had shabu shabu, I am now addicted and want to go back for more tomorrow. We did get to the Great Buddha, which is damn cool, google it if you have a minute. We hope to get off base more soon, but with Josh still on a cane, I like staying close to large amounts of English speaking people, silly me.

I wish we could move back stateside, but we are content here for now. We will see where the Navy and God will put us in the future. I can work here easily and we are saving quite a bit of money. We didn't do that in San Diego so that is nice. Living in a fish bowl is interesting, but not having a car means I can eat all the ice cream and cupcakes I want and I haven't gained a pound. I know I usually don't have to worry about that, but I am eating alot of dessert. 

I have one good friend, of course she is my parents age, but she has a 17 month old who is so cute. I spend alot of time with them and James definitely reminds me why I don't want kids right now. I am happy playing the aunt to the cute kid.

I miss everyone so much and think about you guys all the time. Thanks again for all the thoughts and prayers and I will try to remember that this exists more. I had completely forgotten about it as sad as that sounds.

Love from Japan!

We are finally getting settled in over here. We finally went through the last box on Thursday and got our internet and cable set up yesterday. 

Josh is no longer totally strangely ill, we are working on getting him better. Thats really all I want to say about that.

We are off to the NEX to do some shopping because I believe we are going to Kamakura tomorrow and I want to be able to take pictures!

People I made it here!

Woohoo for Japan. 

Unfortuantely I am borrowing someones computer and I don't want to take forever but boy do I have stories already.

Josh gets in tomorrow and I cannot wait to see him!

Love to everyone!

So its been awhile since I did a full post. Forgive me, so much has been on my mind.

Its been two weeks since I have seen Josh, he flew back to San Diego two Sundays ago. The ship didn't actually leave until late this week so I had been able to talk to him on the phone daily. Now, I send him emails and try not to count down the days. 

I am very glad I am married to someone who can get as emotional about seperations as I do. That last phone call before they pulled out was really hard on both of us. If he had just been ok with it all, it would have been hard for me to be ok with it. I don't know if that makes total sense but it does to me. With him upset too, I was able to say that its only two more weeks and then we'll have some time in Japan before they pull out again. And by then I'll be dealing with school and will have plenty to occupy my time.

I will say that my parents and siblings all really like Josh and am alot happier with the thought of me being married now that they have met him. My dad says he has a 'good soul' and is a really good man. It is a big relief to have him say that, I knew they would love him, but if they hadn't life would not have been fun.

The school thing. Let me address that. I have decided to go back to school. Yes I know I have said that in the past but I really am this time. The bug has bit me and I can't shake it loose. I am going to Western Governor's University which is an online competancy based model program. I will be getting my BA in Mathematics leading to licensure to teach high school math. I am really excited and can't wait til I am settled in Japan and can start.

Ok long enough now.

I have all these thoughts running through my head and all I can think is... whats the best? and can I do that?

Crazy.

AHHHHHH

Changes! I hate them!

Enjoying Detroit... soon to be enjoying Lynchburg.

Limited Net access so sorry people. Call me. Its the little thing you carry around with you that makes noises occasionally.

Love y'all!

(I am going to join Caitlin in her caps lock mood.)

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

The movers come in 2-4 hours and I am not ready! 

Brief last night went well..... OH except that I have to completely change my plans!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I repeat.....

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Current Mood: there should be a frantic.....

The movers come tomorrow. I am not ready. Not with the house and certainly not emotionally. This was our first place. The first time we set up a house and lived together. I am really happy to be going on leave and seeing everyone, but after that starts the realy Navy wife life. And I don't know if I am ready for that. I love having Josh home with me at night, I don't like being alone. I am really really worried that Japan is going to be too much.

But then I stop. Take a deep breath, and relax. As my dad said earlier, when he called at the perfect moment, everything is easier when you walk the path with the person you love. 

This isn't what I would have chosen for my life but its what I chose. And I am good with that. Japan is going to be an adventure. But hell. I'm 21 what better a time for an adventure. 

For anyone who might actually read this and still be around Lynchburg, Saturday the 9th Josh and I are going to be in Lynchburg and I think we are going to try to do a get together at my dad's house... if I can convince him to let me have it.  Might do alittle grilling, alittle drinking (for those of us OVER 21) a chance to chill and catch up on old times. Of course, it won't happen if no one says anything and I doubt anyone will so its no big deal.

Ok enough time wasted on this I have to go clean more.... AHHH at least the refridgerator is cleaned out... I hate throwing so much food away but we can't take it with us!

Current Mood: crazy

I hate our car.

With two weeks before leave (exactly we will be flying out in TWO weeks) the tires (the ones we put on when I moved out here) were so bald that the insides were hanging out and HAD to be replaced.  SO that was another 200 dollars thrown at the stupid thing. Oh well safety comes first.

Josh has been at school all week, and while we still get up early ( he has to be there at 0545) he's been finishing up buy 1400 1430 at the latest.  He's exhausted and sore but seems to be doing decently well. The class he's in has lost 6 people so far but he's not been struggling with the things that get you dropped.  They are back on the range today, shooting the Mk18, Wednesday they shot the 9mm all day. Tuesday they did a bunch of climbing all day and every morning they have two hours of hand to hand combat training. There is more climbing next week and then I think they start going to the Ship in a box trainer for tactics.  HIs gear weighs so much its not even funny. Even when they are just shooting they wear a flack jacket and helmet with the gear belt that has the redman magazines and radio. (redman meaning its red plastic that has been weighted to match a real weight) they also have redman rifle and pistol. All told, his bag in the morning weighs about 75 pounds. I can't lift it.

Moving. We got the call to confirm our pack and move dates and I have to go to PPO to change them because right now, they are packing us next Friday and then moving us the Tuesday after Memorial Day. I don't really want to sit in a house over a three day weekend with boxes every where. So I go to fill out forms. Again. oh well its my dependent lot in life.

Other than that we are doing great and enjoying our every night together before we start this crazy three years of forward deployment!

Current Mood: busy

YAY for Sears!

They fixed the water pump in our car that died a tragic death as I pulled into the bay at the drive in service window!

SO its off to LA for Josh and I tomorrow!

Current Mood: cheerful

So I was amusing myself reading back over entries that I had written before and its funny to me to think back to the pre boot camp months. People didn't think I was going to go, I didn't think I was going to do it. But I did and I am so glad I did. 

The Navy has taught me so much about myself and life. I learned how to shut up and let someone else talk... I know it doesn't come out often, but put me with a Khaki and I'll let them talk til their hearts content. But I think most importantly I learned how to be happy with just myself. Yes I know, I'm married so I am not exactly practicing that but being a Navy wife means that you have to be happy with yourself more than most people. I spend alot of time working hard not to bemoan the fact that I am alone again. It works out though. I am surrounded by people in the same situation and its all good.

Upcoming events though could prove testy. Three weeks left in wonderful, amazing San Diego. I never thought I would turn into a total SoCal woman, but damned if I ain't. (hehe you can't take the southern out all the way though) I love living here. Totally and completely. But my lot in life is to be a traveling woman... 3 days in Detroit followed by two months back in good old VA followed by 4 days back in San Diego and then the flight to Japan. August 6th. Thats the day I leave the US of A and start this (possible) three year adventure. With the way Josh is though, maybe we'll end up at EOD school in a year anyway. With my Reserve commitment there is an increased risk that I could get mobilized while in Japan so there is a possibility that I, yes yours truely, could be wearing desert cammies carrying a gun. Ick. I think I agree with Josh I would rather go to Korea. There at least I could wear BDU's. 

Josh and I are coming up on five months married and I will shake my head with the best of them in wonder. I always had a bent towards marriage but marriage with this guy is the best. When he';s not here, yea it sucks, but when he's home we have an amazing time. I am dead serious when I say I have never been this happy and content with my life. 

Ok Ok enough rambling. I just felt like sitting down and actually writing some stuff. Don't count on this becoming a standard thing. Though once I get to Japan, this might become more regular!

Current Mood: chipper
Current Music: MIchael Buble

Yes folks this will be my last post for several months. I leave for boot camp tomorrow. gulp.

For any one who wants email updates from my dad about how I am doing just comment and include your email address so I can get that to him. If you don't before I leave, I think Camden will be checking this for me too so he can add the addresses to the list.

If anyone decides to write me a letter, first let me thank you ahead of time. I am sure that I will need the support from all my loved ones to get through the seven weeks I have ahead of me. I know I can do it... but there are still going to be hurdles I am sure. Second, please nothing but a letter in a plain white business sided envelope. Anything other than that I will have to work for... and I don't wanna. haha

Anyway, thanks in advance for the thoughts (and prayers) I know I will need them.

Current Mood: anxious

It's funny. When you fall out of the habit of endlessly updating, you really stop doing it. I am on the computer alot now a days but I just don't update.

What am I thinking about lately? oh lots. First on my mind is what happens 24? days from now. Camden leaves. Out of town. And I am torn. Yes I encouraged it, pushed for it, am happy for him, think its the best for him, but I am going to miss him so much. I won't go into it totally cause I don't feel like crying right now. Its going to be a hell of a two month period though. I will say that.

Now my news. STUPID HEAD. Surgery has been postponed until the end of March... not happening if I can help that one. So new doctor with an appointment on Friday to see what he says. I have started taking an herbal supplement that is supposed to help congestion and have a humidifier in my room at night. It's slowly starting to help. Yesterday I felt great; today, like crap. The biggest problem is this damn dizziness. It comes and goes and comes and comes and comes. I am scared to drive like this, I tried to back down the driveway and ended up in the ditch. Bad place. I pulled right back up the driveway and waited for Camden to come and pick me up. To get to the recruiter's office, ET2 has to come pick me up and I HATE FEELING LIKE AN HELPLESS PERSON! I know that it has been really hard on Camden and he has been wonderful most of the time about it. It sucks because one minute I am myself and then the next I hurt so bad in my ear and head and eye that I can't see or think straight. I have worked hard to keep all this from affecting me but he catches the worst of it.

Ok so that's now, plans for later anyone? Ha again, Navy. As my father and Camden love to say, well she's set to leave during a pro Navy month so maybe she'll stick with it. I am tired of that. For once, I am done. This is IT. I am going. I am now the Lead DEPer in the office here, basically I am the top of the DEP (people waiting to leave) chain of command. It means I spend a lot of time bemoaning the fact that people don't give a poop what happens around them. Its annoying but the experience is good for me. I am staying motivated and energized and as soon as my head crap is fixed I will get in shape so I can motivate in that regard as well.

Please don't be strangers. I love you all out there and miss talking to more than one of you.

Current Mood: lets make that a happy bubble
Current Music: Queen - I want to Break Free --- diet coke commercial song

You're a Gryffinclaw!: You are a determined and
intelligent person who is used to getting your
own way all the time. You are very passionate
about your beliefs and will defend them until
your last breath. Often Griffenclaws work as
lawyers or activists because they have feel so
strongly about a certain subject. You feel that
knowledge is to be used in a practical way and
you often have a very low tolerance for people
you consider of low intelligence. Although you
aren't a social butterfly, you don't have
trouble making fiends, people are usually drawn
to you. Your weakness is that sometimes you can
be insensitive, you're too busy being witty
that you don't realize that you're hurting
peoples' feelings, often your friends. With the
wit of a Ravenclaw and the passion of a
Gryffindor you can face all your battles in
life head on!


Which Mix of the Hogwarts Houses are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Ok here's the thing I have posted not doing Navy.... would anyone be surprised that I might be changing my mind and doing it?

stupid money... it can rule your life.

Current Mood: contemplative

Well after two weeks of hanging in there while I was sick and busy out of my mind, I was really looking forward to being able to relax this week. Not to be.

My great grandfather, Papa, was hit by a car yesterday as he went to get his mail. He was almost 99 years old. He had broken legs, a broken neck, and brain damage. He survived in the hospital for less than 5 hours before his body gave out. He was robbed of years more of seeing his great grandchildren and watching Wheel of Fortune. I know 98 seems like an eternity to live, but his passing is the end of an era for my family.

For 19 years, my family has packed up and met at Papa's for a time of laughs, love and fun. My earliest memories of Papa's was before great-gramma Ella passed away. They would have costumes for me and I would put on shows in front of the TV. I would twirl and spin and float and dance for them. I remember playing with the same toys that are there now. I have memories of swordfights and castles; bad guys and forts; so much more that can't even begin to be put into words right now. Now all thoughts are of him not being there and his house not being our summer retreat. That might seem selfish I know, but my memories of Papa are so interlaced with my memories of the lake and the Stands. This last summer we went to the lake all of us, Papa too, and got fish and chips and threw rocks in the water and watched the waves and each other. I have a picture of Papa sitting on the picnic table bench, watching us frolicking around, interacting with one another. Those are the memories I cherish now. The nights spent watching tv, the days spent asking questions, the stories being told around the dinner table while Papa snored quietly in his seat of power just steps away. Whenever his eyes would drift closed, Gramma would demand silence with a sense of doom to all those who failed to obey. We would be banned to the outdoors, which was almost the better deal, because then we had free reign. Well, almost. We still had to watch the road, with its car speeding over the hill and the reckless drivers, and we still had to stay within hearing range of the house. But man, oh man did we stretch those boundaries. I remember, goodness must be 4 years ago now, Riis (my cousin) had gotten a video camera for Christmas and he brought it with him. He and I (and Jacob at times) would disappear into the apartment for hours at a time... leaving everyone at the house to wonder what we were doing. We plotted and planned and schemed. What were we doing? We were making a movie: an army men movie. We would arrange the men in the way we wanted, take a few seconds of film, move them minutely, another few seconds, another move, more seconds, and so on. We filmed a total of 5 minutes of action in almost 35 hours of work. We had the details down to dying scenes, tanks rolling in,and generals making orders. We would only film when the light from the window was blocked so we wouldn't have strange shadows across our work. When we finished, we trudged triumphantly up the hill carrying our camera and thinking of the next big thing. We announced, swelled with pride, that we had finished and were ready for the first viewing. Of course, that tape has long since been erased but at the moment we had accomplished something that would last with us forever. And indeed, we did just that. For that memory is one that I will hold onto for years and years.
Another favorite of mine would be any that include my aunt. Where to start. I know there have been times I had to have just been a pain; times I followed her around endlessly. I think back on the walks we would take, the talks we would have. We would go shopping together and somehow, we always ended up in trouble. We would disappear into the wilds of Fashion Bug and dig madly through piles of strange looking underwear and socks to find those gems. But the thoughts that I remember the most, are the nights we would talk. Last summer is maybe the most memorable (though that could be because of its recency) with me on my pallet squished in the corner and Esme in the twin bed; both of us with endless blankets that stop just short of covering your toes. She means so much to me and I regret all the time that passes when we don't talk. I wish so much that she and I could spend more time together.
Its hard to think that the life I knew as 'Papa's house' is never going to be there again. But I also know that it really hasn't gone away, just that it won't be added to much beyond this week. This week will be a trial I am not thinking anything else. The emotional burden we are all holding combined with the normal emotional stress of the group together promises blowups, screaming, and more tears than thought possible.

But we will come through, completely intact with only a few chips on our edges.

Current Mood: contemplative

Based on Karen's comment to my last post, I will be a good friend and update with a true post. forgive me if any x's are missing in my post as that key has decided to stick beyond terribly ( not that there would be many reasons to use x in my usual life)

anyway let me see... biggest changes first, I am no longer doing Navy. i know, its a biggy. the thing of it is, I can't leave my family. my father is going through treatment again and I hadn't realized the extent to which he was sick. it was hard to think about leaving... and one day it became too hard. My little brother asked me if daddy was sick again (pops had gone to take a nap...something he doesn't usually do in the middle of the day anymore) and when I said that he was getting medicine again to get better... jared looked at me and said, will he be better before you go away? right then, I stopped and had to really think about it. If i went through with leaving in March now, and at the end of this semester stopped school, and worked til march,what would happen if in march I couldn't leave? what if father was still sick. I know I couldn't leave if he was really sick. and i know that if I put myself in that place I wouldn't be able to continue school until the fall semester. and it would suck to lose 9 months of schooling like that. I hate backing out on a commitment I made but I really believe family comes before all that kind of things.

Net big thing, Camden and I are still going wonderfully well. though I wish he would clean, he cooks for me and that makes up for it.

Next, work! I love it. I absolutely love my job. Now there are times, I will admit, I am ready to walk out the door. But I absolutely love my position. It seems pointless but it is something that actually has a point and I can see it most everyday I work. People who are calling me need a service. not to give money. not to buy a tape. (that they could have MADE themselves by using the tv) grr on ISA. (karen will understand completely!) There are times working almost 30 hours a week with school is too much but I find myself missing it and being bored when I am not busy. So yay for that!

Other news, my mother has a crush on another guy.... another teacher at her school. Of course, she's still dating Ed, so its interesting to say the least.

ok I don't feel like typing anymore so I am going to watch will and Grace and then go to bed for I have class tomorrow!